1.Unawasalimia watu usiowajuwa na kutaka urafiki na kila anayetaka kuzungumza na wewe, halafu unaanza kumwita mtu huyo(usiyemjuwa undani wake wala tabia zake)aunt au anco!.
2.Asilimia 90 ya CD pamoja na cassete za muziki ulizonazo nyumbani ni feki (sio original copies).
3.Stoo yako imejaa vitu (makorokoro) kwa kuwa hutupi kwa kuamini kuwa ipo siku utayahitaji kwa mfano karpet ukilitoa hulitupi n.k.
4.Una machupa ya maji matupu na ya shampoo, chupa za perfume pamoja na vipodozi vingine umeweka tuu kwenye rafu au meza yako wala huna shughuli navyo.
5. Watoto wako wote wana majina ya utani mfano babu ali,chidi,mamu, dida, kibabu, n.k.
6. Hakuna mtu katika familia yako anayetoa taarifa kwako anapo kuja kukutembelea, wanajileta tu, hata hawatazami idadi ya watu wanaokuja wala kufikiria watalala wapi!
7.Mifuko yako imejaa vitu kama vile vijiti vya kusafishia meno,tissue n.k ulivyochukua sehemu kama vile mgahawani (Restaurant).
8. Mama yako anamigogoro na ndugu na hawazungumzi kwa muda wa siku 10 au zaidi.
9.Hupigi simu isipokuwa katika muda ambao gharama za kupiga ni nafuu(mfano usiku sana )na mara nyingi huwa una beep tu hutaki kujitia hasara hata kama wewe ndiye uliye na haja hiyo.
10.Ulipokua mdogo nguo unazonunuliwa pamoja na viatu ni vikubwa mara mbili ili uweze kuvivaa muda mrefu zaidi.
11.Wakati ukisafiri na ndege unabeba mzigo wa uzito mkubwa kuliko inavyoruhusiwa, kwa kuwa unataka kumridhisha kila mtu kwa zawadi huko unakokwenda.
12.Unapomsaidia mtu na akafanikiwa basi utakuwa unapita na huku unasema kama sio mimi asingekuwa vile yule.
13. Wale tunaowasaidia wengi wanakosa shukurani na badala yake wanasema, eti kaniletea kijisimu hiki, si hata hapa ningeweza kukipata? Ndio, zawadi ya Ulaya hii?! Halafu wanacheka!
14. Hatuvai nguo nzuri au mpya na kujipamba tunapokuwa majumbani mwetu isipokuwa tunapokwenda maharusini, khitma au kwenye mialiko ya futari au pale tunapoalikwa vyakula na marafiki!
NOTE: Basi wapelekee waswahili wengine ili wajuwe ni kitu gani kinawafanya wao wawe Waswahili... ......... ......... ..... kama mimi na wewe , lakini si wakati umefika wa kubadilisha khulka hizi, zilizopitiwa na wakati? (out dated traditions and customs)!!?....mmh?
Cheers
Saturday, October 16, 2010
NO SPEEKA DA ENGLIS
A Bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation.
The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears
one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come
once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and
pee twice. Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed sex obsessed swine," retorted the lady
indignantly. "In this country....we don't speak aloud in pubic
places about our sex lives.........
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin'
abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella
"Mississippi'."
I BET YOU READ THIS AGAIN!!!
The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears
one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come
once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and
pee twice. Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed sex obsessed swine," retorted the lady
indignantly. "In this country....we don't speak aloud in pubic
places about our sex lives.........
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin'
abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella
"Mississippi'."
I BET YOU READ THIS AGAIN!!!
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